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FRICKINAWESOME
aka Evan Ferstenfeld is a 30.96 year old boy, has been a member since May 5, 2006, has scored 33799 submissions, giving an average score of 1.67.
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I Was Hoping This Shirt Would Make Me Feel LESS Socially Awkward.
of 46 votes, 48% like it
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Cars Run On Expensive Gas While My Body Runs On Feet.
of 44 votes, 32% like it
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Laughter is the Best Medicine. Also, Try Laughtranex.
of 50 votes, 42% like it
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Cloning Humans is So Unoriginal.
of 64 votes, 41% like it
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I Fluently Speak French, German and Other Names of Languages.
of 74 votes, 58% like it
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I'm Sorry I Can't Talk Now, I Have To Go Make An Excuse.
of 73 votes, 51% like it
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Admiring Rainbows Doesn't Neccassarily Make You A Gay Leprechaun.
of 67 votes, 45% like it
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I Always Wait Until the Last Second To Plan For the Future.
of 88 votes, 42% like it
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Global Warming is Just the Sun Trying To Give Us All Its Love.
of 95 votes, 59% like it
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I Can Think Of At Least 3.14 Reasons Why Pi Is Awesome.
of 94 votes, 62% like it
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Zombie Parents Find Raising Their Dead Very Difficult.
of 90 votes, 50% like it
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Spoken Languages Are Just Agreed-Upon Goofy Noises.
of 92 votes, 49% like it
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Just Once I'd Like To See a Suitcase Full of Money in Real Life.
of 91 votes, 47% like it
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What's Another Word For "Synonym"?
of 107 votes, 64% like it
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I Can't Even Remember the Last Time I Forgot Something.
of 102 votes, 56% like it
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Fractions Have Made Me 1/2 The Person I Am Today.
of 98 votes, 52% like it
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Even Numbers Think I'm Quite Odd.
of 109 votes, 55% like it
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Spheres Are Just Elitist Circles.
of 97 votes, 57% like it
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I Actually Wanted the Person Behind You To Read My Shirt.
of 122 votes, 61% like it
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I Take Flights of Fancy Whenever I Find a Cheap Enough Ticket.
of 118 votes, 48% like it
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Multi-Colored Ghosts Always Hunt in Pacs.
of 133 votes, 47% like it
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Amnesia Is the Cheapest Way To Start a New Life For Yourself.
of 144 votes, 60% like it
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Science: Taking All the Fun Out of Guessing Since 1600.
of 169 votes, 73% like it
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Hurricanes: The Hotel-Trashing Rock Star Of Weather.
of 117 votes, 47% like it
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WANTED: Death Metal Band in Need of Harpist & Ukelele Player.
of 135 votes, 49% like it
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Failure Is Not An Option. It Comes Standard With Most Humans.
of 159 votes, 60% like it
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I Waste Food So I Can Recycle the Can It Was In.
of 144 votes, 44% like it
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Two Things You Should Know About Me: I'm Not Good At Counting.
of 201 votes, 61% like it
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I'm Not Over-Anxious, You're Just Under-Worried.
of 174 votes, 51% like it
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Today's Forecast Calls For a 100 Percent Chance of Reading.
of 165 votes, 44% like it
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The Meaning of Life Was On the Shirt I Wore Yesterday.
of 197 votes, 62% like it
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The Pogo Stick Market Has Its Constant Ups and Downs.
of 162 votes, 41% like it
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I'd Say I'm Lazy, But I'd Rather Have My Shirt Do the Work For Me
of 168 votes, 47% like it
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Pianos Always Sound Best When Crushing Cartoon Characters.
of 167 votes, 45% like it
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I Only Solve Mazes That Have David Bowie In Them.
of 182 votes, 56% like it
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Trap Doors Would Instantly Make Any Sport More Exciting.
of 242 votes, 64% like it
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Due To Budget Cuts, Infinity Is Worth One Less Than It Used To.
of 196 votes, 46% like it
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The First Rule of Anarchy: You Just Screwed Up Being an Anarchist
of 242 votes, 58% like it
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Making a Bad Analogy is Like Watching Stick Figures Breakdance.
of 232 votes, 51% like it
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Dogs Wearing Diamonds Are Everyone's Best Friend.
of 247 votes, 57% like it
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Coloring Outside the Lines: Banned For Illegally Crossing Borders
of 216 votes, 48% like it
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I've Been a Time Traveler Since Before I Was Born.
of 231 votes, 53% like it
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Hangman Is a Promoter of Vigilante Grammatical Violence.
of 237 votes, 54% like it
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Ask Me About My Hatred For Answering Questions.
of 232 votes, 49% like it
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Standing Out in a Crowd is Easier Once Everyone Else is Seated.
of 218 votes, 51% like it
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Greater Than > Less Than
of 213 votes, 36% like it
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I'm Much More Confident After Having My Nervous System Removed.
of 217 votes, 39% like it
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Doing My Part To Combat Global Warming By Making Earth Cooler.
of 223 votes, 47% like it
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Heroes Are Too Busy Playing Guitar To Save Lives Nowadays.
of 318 votes, 69% like it
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Did You Just Say Bling Bling? We Can't Be Friends Anymore.
of 268 votes, 39% like it
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I Can Walk on Water. Well, Others Call It Ice Skating.
of 285 votes, 46% like it
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I Can't Dance, But I'm Really Good At Flailing Around.
of 323 votes, 58% like it
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Sometimes I Don't Even Get My Own Jokes Until Days Later.
of 300 votes, 50% like it
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If You Must Throw Your Life Away, Please Recycle It.
of 329 votes, 59% like it
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Drinking Coffee Is Not My Cup of Tea.
of 314 votes, 52% like it
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I Know the Final Digit of Pi.
of 383 votes, 59% like it
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Curiosity Museums Are Like Kitten Death Traps.
of 301 votes, 46% like it
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Freudian Slips Can Injure Your Back.
of 284 votes, 36% like it
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I'm Currently Modeling My Parent's Genes.
of 313 votes, 44% like it
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(front) Anagrams Are Awesome! (back) Arrows Ease, Sane Magma!
of 295 votes, 41% like it
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I'd Take a Leap of Faith, But the Hurdles of Logic Are Too High!
of 288 votes, 41% like it
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Forget Past & Future, I Like The Ghost of Christmas Presents.
of 307 votes, 37% like it
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Plagiarists Are Just Doing Their Part to Recycle Old Ideas.
of 312 votes, 49% like it
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I Bet I Can Get You To Stare At My Chest For Three Seconds.
of 320 votes, 47% like it
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Exclamation Points Make Every Sentence Have a Happy Ending!
of 339 votes, 57% like it
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The Universe Constantly Expanding Explains My Weight Gain.
of 295 votes, 33% like it
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Live Every Day Like You Died the Day Before.
of 308 votes, 41% like it
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(in glow ink) I'm Glow-in-the-Dork.
of 351 votes, 46% like it
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In An Alternate Dimension, I'm Reading Your Shirt Right Now.
of 322 votes, 47% like it
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Global Warming is Really the Titanic Getting Revenge on Icebergs.
of 396 votes, 60% like it
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I Fight Crime By Being So Broke That Nobody Wants to Mug Me.
of 340 votes, 46% like it
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I'm No Artist, But I'm Very Good at Drawing a Blank.
of 341 votes, 38% like it
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Land: It's Like the Ocean Floor, But Less Watered-Down.
of 343 votes, 45% like it
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The Internet Was Closed So I Thought I'd Come Outside Today.
of 430 votes, 65% like it
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You Look Exactly Like I Pictured You From My Binoculars.
of 370 votes, 53% like it
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Ten Foot Poles Don't Like Touching Gross Stuff Either.
of 491 votes, 74% like it
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A.A.A.A.A. (Artists Against Abhorent Alliteration Assocation)
of 362 votes, 36% like it
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If You Can Read This, I'm Not a Very Good Ninja.
of 522 votes, 64% like it
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I Used To Wear Suspenders, But I'm Overall That Now.
of 393 votes, 41% like it
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'People Shall Finally Remember My Name Forever' -Anonymous
of 488 votes, 61% like it
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I Lift Huge Dictionaries To Give Myself More Definition.
of 441 votes, 57% like it
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(for babies): I'm Having a Party Over at My Crib Tonight.
of 387 votes, 46% like it
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Turning a Frown Upside Down Would Seriously Damage Your Lips.
of 393 votes, 41% like it
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Street Beggars Do Not Fear Change.
of 426 votes, 48% like it
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Scientology: The Religion With the Best Laser Battles.
of 463 votes, 55% like it
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I Really Hate Reverse Psychology. Or Do I?
of 583 votes, 68% like it
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Every Year, 500 People Drown Doing the Wave At Sporting Events.
of 433 votes, 43% like it
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Thankfully I Lost That Mob of Screaming Fans.
of 418 votes, 42% like it
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Rise Above Your Enemies. Then Throw Things Down On Their Heads.
of 466 votes, 52% like it
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Did a Lightbulb Appear Over Edison's Head When He Invented It?
of 470 votes, 49% like it
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Crime Doesn't Pay. It Just Takes Without Asking.
of 467 votes, 51% like it
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Conservatives Find the Ninja Turtles To Be Too Radical.
of 489 votes, 47% like it
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To Meaure a Person's True Worth, Ask For Ransom.
of 449 votes, 40% like it
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Swedes Don't Have Strange Names, They Were Just Bjorn That Way.
of 579 votes, 54% like it
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The Meaning of Life is in Every Dictionary. What's the Confusion?
of 525 votes, 44% like it
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Children Are Not the Future, Because By Then They'll Be Adults.
of 557 votes, 55% like it
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I Come From the Future To Tell You...We Still Wear Clever Shirts.
of 506 votes, 38% like it
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If You Can Read This, My Invisibility Cloak Isn't Doing Its Job.
of 619 votes, 60% like it
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In Theory, I'm a Brilliant Theoretical Scientist.
of 499 votes, 44% like it
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WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? Oh, These Words. Carry On.
of 532 votes, 40% like it
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Looney Toons Taught Me You Can Run on Air Until You Look Down.
of 601 votes, 57% like it
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I Know I'm A Stranger, But I'm a Really Cool Stranger.
of 597 votes, 50% like it
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Be a Non-Conformist. Everybody's Doin' It!
of 591 votes, 46% like it
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That Reminds Me of a Boring Story I Take Forever To Tell.
of 758 votes, 68% like it
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The Art of Conversation is, Like, Kinda Dead and Stuff.
of 625 votes, 57% like it
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Complaining Loudly is Much More Fun Than Suffering in Silence.
of 541 votes, 47% like it
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Santaclaustrophobia: The Fear of Jolly Fat Men in Tight Spaces.
of 499 votes, 34% like it
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Tennis: The Only Sport Where Having Zero Gives You the Most Love.
of 517 votes, 37% like it
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Jehovah's Witnesses Do Not Tell Each Other Knock-Knock Jokes.
of 542 votes, 36% like it
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I Hear There's an 80% Chance of Small Talk About the Weather.
of 539 votes, 43% like it
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My Love For Oxymorons is Bittersweet.
of 657 votes, 59% like it
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I Listen To Bands That Don't Even Exist Yet.
of 747 votes, 67% like it
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Screenwriters Are Always Plotting Something.
of 593 votes, 44% like it
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Almost Everyone Who Insults Your Mom Doesn't Know Her. Relax.
of 635 votes, 49% like it
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The Future Isn't What It Used To Be.
of 791 votes, 69% like it
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Thinking Outside the Box is Hard When You're Trapped in a Cubicle
of 570 votes, 44% like it
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Math Nerds Rarely Get Hurt Because There's Safety in Numbers.
of 564 votes, 42% like it
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Nerds Dance To the Beat of Algorithms.
of 540 votes, 34% like it
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Identity Theft is the Sincerest Form of Flattery
of 578 votes, 45% like it
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When Fantasy & Nightmares Collide, Zombie Unicorns Are Born
of 598 votes, 45% like it
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Mimes, Ninjas and Cholesterol: The Silent Killers
of 773 votes, 67% like it
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A Good Friend Is Someone Who Eats All the Black Jellybeans.
of 633 votes, 49% like it
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The Thesaurus Was the Most Meaning Full of All Dinosaurs
of 634 votes, 43% like it
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An Innocent Game of Tic-Tac-Toe Sometimes Ends in XXX
of 620 votes, 40% like it
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You Can't Spell "SARCASM" Without "LETTERS"
of 702 votes, 53% like it
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Everything Was So Much Cooler Back In The Ice Age.
of 658 votes, 46% like it
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I Listen to Christian Death Metal Just to Confuse the Devil
of 701 votes, 51% like it
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(on back) If This is Getting Easier to Read, I Am Moonwalking
of 703 votes, 51% like it
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I've Tried to Cut Down on My Exaggerating a Million Times!
of 693 votes, 39% like it
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I Know My Left and Right Ventricles By Heart.
of 679 votes, 38% like it
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Today, I Think I'll Turn My Life into a Five-Part Musical.
of 733 votes, 37% like it
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Straight Tetris Piece, You Complete Me.
of 752 votes, 46% like it
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Leap Years: Proof That Science Sometimes Cheats
of 837 votes, 57% like it
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Penguins in Our Living Rooms: The One Upside to Global Warming
of 719 votes, 39% like it
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Knowing is Half the Battle. The Other Half is Killing People.
of 828 votes, 47% like it
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I Don't Know What to Think of Indecisive People
of 810 votes, 48% like it
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Forget Terrorists, Why Haven't We Captured Carmen Sandiego Yet?
of 1124 votes, 71% like it
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I Invented a Time Machine, But Only Use It To Piss Off Historians
of 737 votes, 37% like it
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I Sneak My Inner Child Into "R" Rated Movies
of 800 votes, 37% like it
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Sometimes I Wish I Could Shoot Turtle Shells Out of my Car
of 756 votes, 37% like it
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My Life is Loosely Based on a True Story.
of 805 votes, 46% like it
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Chess is Checkers Made Unnecessarily Hard
of 793 votes, 45% like it
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Slogans that have been deleted or that have been dropped from the contest
!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm In An Exclamatory Mood Today !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
of 41 votes, 24% like it
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"Something Clever, Someone Once Said." -A Dead Guy
of 31 votes, 3% like it
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#1 Overall Pick During the Natural Selection Draft.
of 41 votes, 20% like it
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#1 Overall Pick Of The Natural Selection Draft.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
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"Don't Quote Me on This!" - Me
of 45 votes, 22% like it
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"Excuse Me While I Slip Onto Someone More Comfortable."
of 44 votes, 16% like it
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"What if We ARE in the Matrix!?!" Said the Stoned Teen
of 36 votes, 11% like it
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"X" Marks the Wrong Test Answer.
of 46 votes, 17% like it
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'Anything Worth Reading Can Be Said On A T-Shirt.' -Shakespeare
of 31 votes, 23% like it
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'Anything Worth Writing Can Be Done On A T-Shirt.' -Shakespeare
of 32 votes, 28% like it
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'For A Limited Time' on TV Really Means 'Until the End of Time'.
of 44 votes, 9% like it
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'I' 'Survived' 'the' 'Apostrophe' 'Catastrophe.'
of 49 votes, 24% like it
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'Only the Good Die Young' Is Far From the Truth in Videogames.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
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(4 Kids) My Parents Raise Me Well, and In Turn I Raise Hell!
of 41 votes, 24% like it
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(baby) Of Course I Cry. I See What's Up People's Noses All Day.
of 35 votes, 9% like it
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(For Babies) I Saw It With My Own Eyes: My Daddy is Santa Claus!
of 4 votes, 25% like it
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(For Babies) Is My Hair Gonna Grow, Or Am I Already Going Bald?
of 31 votes, 23% like it
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(For Babies) Why Are Adults More Amused By Cartoons Than I Am?
of 29 votes, 14% like it
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(front) Should Be on the Back. (back) Should Be on the Front.
of 31 votes, 16% like it
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(Front) +3 Magic Armor ; (Back) -52 Popularity Magnet
of 42 votes, 10% like it
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(front) My Good Cop Profile / (back) My Bad Cop Profile
of 38 votes, 11% like it
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(In An MPAA box) THIS LIFE IS NOT YET RATED.
of 44 votes, 9% like it
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(in big type) ROAR! (in small type) did my t-shirt scare you?
of 27 votes, 26% like it
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(in big type) WORD. (in small) and here's a few more words too.
of 23 votes, 4% like it
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(in Braille w/english translation below) Please Don't Touch!
of 45 votes, 22% like it
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(in brown text) Noser.
of 44 votes, 7% like it
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(in cut-out-letter typeface) I LOVE WRITING RANSOM NOTES
of 38 votes, 18% like it
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(in gold foil) Shiny Things Distract Me Too!
of 50 votes, 30% like it
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(in gold print): I HATE ATTENTION SEEKERS!!!
of 33 votes, 15% like it
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(like a store sign) My Mind: Yes, We're Open!
of 11 votes, 9% like it
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(Note On Back of Shirt): Gone On Banana Pilgrimage / -Monkey
of 33 votes, 9% like it
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(on a red shirt) This Shirt is Really Yellow in Disguise.
of 101 votes, 9% like it
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(on a road sign) FINGER CROSSING
of 32 votes, 13% like it
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(on a wifebeater) This Shirt In No Way Supports Spousal Abuse.
of 79 votes, 25% like it
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(on front) Sometimes My Reactions Are a Bit... (on back) Delayed.
of 48 votes, 21% like it
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(on green) Wearing This Color is Actually Pretty Damned Easy.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
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(on red) Boy, Is My Face and Shirt Read.
of 40 votes, 18% like it
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(on red) I'm Extremely Well-Red.
of 39 votes, 21% like it
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(on yellow) This is My Camouflage To Blend in With Yellow Snow.
of 30 votes, 7% like it
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(w/a drawing of eyeglasses) Does My Slogan Seem More Intelligent?
of 33 votes, 12% like it
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(with a paint brush and splashes) Who Arted?
of 33 votes, 24% like it
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(WITH GLOSSY INK) Shiny Stuff Distracts Me Too.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
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+H!$ $H!R+ !$ M@/) $YMB0/_ ! <
of 48 votes, 6% like it
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100 People Were Surveyed and the #1 Answer Was "You".
of 47 votes, 13% like it
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18 Out of 23 People Agree That This is a Strange Number to Sample
of 44 votes, 25% like it
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2 Things About Me: I'm the Best Thing Ever & Incredibly Humbl
of 2 votes, 0% like it
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2 Things About Me: I'm the Best Thing Ever and Incredibly Humble.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
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2nd Grade: A Golden Age For the "Rubber/Glue" Comeback
of 35 votes, 14% like it
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4 Out of 5 Doctors Agree That Doctors Agreeing Means Nothing
of 48 votes, 17% like it
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4 Out of 5 Doctors Agree That You Do Not Exist.
of 53 votes, 23% like it
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4 Out of 5 People Agree That the Most Popular Answer Is Right.
of 47 votes, 30% like it
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4 Out of 5 People Prefer Actual Cake to Urinal Cakes.
of 37 votes, 24% like it
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5 Out of 5 Dead People Agree That Silence is Golden.
of 35 votes, 17% like it
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5 Out of 5 Zombies Agree: BRAIIIIIIINS!!!!
of 34 votes, 18% like it
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A Can Play Two Double-Guitars At Once.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
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A Chainsaw Beats Rocks, Paper, Scissors.
of 312 votes, 29% like it
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A Dollar Coin is Money That Hasn't Yet Evolved.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
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A Friend of My Cousin's Sister Created All the Urban Legends
of 46 votes, 24% like it
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A Hitman Comedian Slays His Audience Every Night
of 39 votes, 13% like it
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A Homosapien Is Just a Link on the Chain Towards Floating Brains
of 46 votes, 11% like it
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A Key Grip's Real Job is Murdering People For the Director.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
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A Lifetime of Wrongs Don't Make a Last Rite.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
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A Mirror Is Never the Same After Its First Break-Up.
of 37 votes, 27% like it
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A Once-in-a-Lifetime Miracle Just Happened Behind You.
of 212 votes, 32% like it
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A Person Who Can Do Almost Everything Can Actually Do Nothing.
of 37 votes, 16% like it
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A Pinky Swear Is Still Considered Cursing.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
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A Rap Star's Part-Time Job is Throwing Money At Cameras.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
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A RONDAM T-SRIHT PORGARM CMAE UP WTIH TIHS SLOAGN.
of 42 votes, 5% like it
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A Satanist's Worse Fear is Going to Heaven.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
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A Smiling Flamethrower is Not a Good Example of Friendly Fire.
of 41 votes, 10% like it
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A Ton of Falling Bricks Are Really Good at Flattery.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
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A Vomitorium is NOT What It Sounds Like.
of 44 votes, 5% like it
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A Vulcan Serial Killer is Psycho Logical.
of 33 votes, 9% like it
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A Waffle Iron Makes Your Shirt All Sticky.
of 41 votes, 20% like it
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A Wrinkle in Time Needs to Be Ironed Properly.
of 38 votes, 34% like it
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ABRACADABRA!: The Ultimate Curse Word.
of 31 votes, 13% like it
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Achieving Immortality Is A Cause Worth Dying For
of 106 votes, 17% like it
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ACHIEVING IMMORTALITY: Finally, A Cause Worth Dying For.
of 40 votes, 13% like it
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Acrobats Do Cartwheels in Their Graves Instead of Spinning.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
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Act 1: U Read Shirt Act 2: U Are Confused Act 3: U Get the Joke!
of 27 votes, 15% like it
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Action Movies Speak Louder Than Critic's Blurbs.
of 45 votes, 9% like it
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ADD. It's as Easy as One, Two, Trees.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
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Admit It, You Were Hoping This Shirt Was About You, Weren't You?
of 34 votes, 18% like it
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Adorable, Fluffy Kittens Wanted For Useless & Painful Experiments
of 66 votes, 21% like it
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Adventurous Musicians Love to Bar Hop.
of 41 votes, 7% like it
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Adverbs Are Astronomically, Unimaginably, Fantastically Cool.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
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After Building a Middle School, Some Assemblies Are Required.
of 48 votes, 25% like it
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After Exercising, I Can Open Up My Own Sweat Shop.
of 39 votes, 15% like it
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After Much Soul Searching, I Hired a Detective Agency To Find It.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
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After Much Soul Searching, I Remembered It Was Under the Car Seat
of 47 votes, 36% like it
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After Reading This, Whatever I Say Has GOT To Be More Clever.
of 46 votes, 13% like it
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against all odds, my heart remains as open as a child's eyes.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
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Air Ducts are Quite Good at Venting Their Frustrations
of 39 votes, 10% like it
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Air Has a Monopoly on the Entire Breathing Marketplace.
of 38 votes, 26% like it
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Air Pollution Is Really Us Giving the Earth a Sinus Infection.
of 36 votes, 19% like it
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Aliens Are So Xenophobic.
of 51 votes, 14% like it
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Aliens Eat Their Dinners on Saucers
of 88 votes, 14% like it
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All Atlantis Needed Was a Really Good Plumber
of 202 votes, 34% like it
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All I Got From the Boston Tee Party Was This Lousy Shirt.
of 36 votes, 14% like it
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All I Hear Are Charlie Brown's Trombone Parents When You Talk
of 28 votes, 4% like it
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All Stereotypes Have Stupid Looking Letters
of 52 votes, 6% like it
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All the People Who Speak in Absolutes Make Me Sick.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
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All the Personalities In My Head Use Their Inside Voices
of 36 votes, 19% like it
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All This Pointless Violence in Life Makes Me Wanna Break Things.
of 42 votes, 17% like it
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All Those Stolen Glances At Me Could Wind You Up in the Slammer.
of 48 votes, 15% like it
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Always Trust Ur Instincts, Unless They Tell You To Punch a Zebra.
of 85 votes, 34% like it
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Always Trust Your Instincts, Unless They Tell U To Punch a Zebra
of 123 votes, 16% like it
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Am I Going Insane, Or is That Just a Bunch of Crazy Talk?
of 54 votes, 15% like it
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Am I the ONLY One Still Using Friendster?!?!?!
of 21 votes, 0% like it
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Am I the ONLY One Still Using Kazaa?!?!?!?
of 21 votes, 5% like it
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Americans and Mexicans Agree: 'No' Means 'No'!
of 39 votes, 21% like it
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An Apple a Day Keeps Adam and Eve in Eternal Sin.
of 42 votes, 29% like it
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An Avalanche is Really Mountain Dandruff
of 38 votes, 13% like it
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Ancient Rome is Totally Ruined.
of 44 votes, 20% like it
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And that's how fireworks are made.
of 30 votes, 7% like it
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Anecdote Me.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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Angels Not Old Enough For the Real Thing Play Harp Hero.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
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Angry Sentences Make Cross Words.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
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Annoyed at the hardcore penetration of sexual innuendo on shirts
of 26 votes, 8% like it
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Anti-Pasta Salads Are Biased Against Rigatoni.
of 53 votes, 9% like it
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Any Car Can Be a Compact If You Hit Enough Trees.
of 48 votes, 33% like it
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Apathetic People, Wave Ur Hands in the Air Like U Just Don't Care
of 46 votes, 20% like it
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Architects Construct Ideas; Philosophers Deconstruct Ideas.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
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Are "Fun Size" Candy Portions Trying To Be Ironic?
of 17 votes, 18% like it
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Are the Men With Nets From the Booby Hatch Gone Yet?
of 25 votes, 4% like it
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Are We Too Dependant On Technology? Click Your Mouse Once For Yes
of 26 votes, 27% like it
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Are You Hearing Voices In Your Head While Reading This?
of 39 votes, 18% like it
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Aren't Rhetorical Questions Awesome?
of 50 votes, 12% like it
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Arm Bands Never Break a Sweat While They Rock Out.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
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Arrows Are So Pushy, Always Telling You Which Way To Go.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
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Art is the Alternative Energy Power Source I Thrive On.
of 32 votes, 22% like it
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Artists Are Always Broke From Overdrawing Their Bank Accounts.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
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Artists Are So Broke Because Their Bank Accounts Are Overdrawn.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
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Artists Build Their Homes Out of Construction Paper.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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As Opposed to Men, the Earth Gets Bigger the Colder it Becomes.
of 41 votes, 17% like it
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As Time Has Shown Us, Flava Flav Was Obviously the Talented One.
of 47 votes, 17% like it
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Ask Me About My Love For Answering Questions
of 42 votes, 24% like it
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Ask Me For Directions to the Secret Warp Door.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
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Aspiring Clergymen Who Climb Up the Ranks Wear Cross-Trainers.
of 34 votes, 15% like it
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Aspiring Priests Like to Jog in Cross-Trainers
of 53 votes, 19% like it
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Astronauts Are Constantly Breaking the Law of Gravity.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
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Astronauts Are Only In It For the Free Parachute Ride.
of 53 votes, 32% like it
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Astronomers Are Only Watching Stars Undress From Their Telescopes
of 46 votes, 20% like it
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Astronomers Are the Peeping Toms of the Galaxy
of 37 votes, 24% like it
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At Least Look Me In the Eye When You're Staring At Me.
of 33 votes, 18% like it
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At Least Look Me in the Eye While You're Reading My Shirt.
of 45 votes, 24% like it
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At Least My Emotional Baggage Has Really Cute Love Handles.
of 38 votes, 34% like it
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At This Stage of My Life, I'm Only a Mildly Perturbed Scientist.
of 44 votes, 30% like it
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At Times, My Grandfather Clock Forgets Where To Put His Hands.
of 39 votes, 21% like it
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At Times, My Grandfather Clock Forgets Where To Put Its Hands.
of 38 votes, 16% like it
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Atari E.T. Record Holder For Most Time Spent Stuck in a Hole
of 24 votes, 4% like it
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Athlete's Foot Is Not As Bad As Missle Toe.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
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Athlete's Foot Is Not Nearly As Painful As Missle Toe.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
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Awesome Chase Sequence Needed For a Future Film About My Life
of 145 votes, 17% like it
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Babble-On Was the Ancient City of Talk Show Hosts.
of 38 votes, 24% like it
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Babies: Give Them a Little Time, and They'll Grow on You.
of 50 votes, 24% like it
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Baby Astronauts Sometimes Need Boosters For Their Rocket Seats.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
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Baby Birds Looking Through Windows from Treetops Are Peeping.
of 34 votes, 6% like it
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Baby Cameras Love to Play With Dollies.
of 40 votes, 5% like it
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Baby Talk is a Universal Language.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
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Back in My Day, Slogans Were Only Made For Billboards!
of 29 votes, 21% like it
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Badminton Pros Love To Skillfully Finesse Their Shuttlecock
of 39 votes, 13% like it
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Banding Together & Attacking Humans is For 'The Birds'.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
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Banks Are Such Loaners.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
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Banks With Only One Branch Are Such Loaners.
of 46 votes, 20% like it
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Bathrooms Celebrate Birthdays With Urinal Cakes.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
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Be A Non-Conformist. Don't Listen to What Simon Says.
of 37 votes, 22% like it
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Be Careful of Deer Droppings From the Sky During Christmas Time.
of 54 votes, 26% like it
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Be Like a Meteor Shower and Make Daily Impacts.
of 48 votes, 13% like it
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Be Like Mic & Amplify Your Voice.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
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Beck is a Scientologist. Now I'm Scared.
of 48 votes, 6% like it
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Becoming a Zombie Gives You a Second Chance at Life.
of 137 votes, 34% like it
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Beggars Want the Most Change All Over the World.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
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Being a Sinner Gets You Front Row Tickets to the Armageddon Show.
of 53 votes, 15% like it
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Being Clinically Insane Means Never Having to Say "I'm Sorry
of 39 votes, 15% like it
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Being Faster Than a Speeding Bullet Sucks When You Need To Rest.
of 39 votes, 10% like it
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Being Green With Envy Does Not Help Out the Environment.
of 52 votes, 33% like it
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Being Irony-Deficient is the Number One Killer of Good Jokes
of 39 votes, 18% like it
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Being Sleep Deprived is Like Going to a Funhouse For Free.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
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Believing in Scientology is Like Praying to a Hyperspace Drive
of 79 votes, 16% like it
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Bet You Can't Make a New Word That Isn't Already in the Alphabet
of 37 votes, 5% like it
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Betsy Ross Made a 'Blinged-Out' Version of the Flag As Well.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
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Betsy Ross Recieved Plenty of Gold Stars From Her Teachers.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
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Big Fires in Winter Can Give You 3rd Degree Freezer Burns.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
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Bike Salesmen Pedal Their Wares All Over the Place.
of 45 votes, 13% like it
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Bill Gates's Home is Quietly Plotting to Take Over the World
of 50 votes, 8% like it
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Bill Gates's House = Intellectual Property
of 44 votes, 2% like it
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Birds That Go Skydiving Aren't As Extreme As It Sounds.
of 46 votes, 22% like it
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Bo Knows How to Disappear From the Spotlight
of 3 votes, 0% like it
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Bo Knows No Longer.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
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Board Games Have Made Me Expect Money Around Parking Spaces.
of 37 votes, 19% like it
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Bogeymen Enjoy the Nightlife.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
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Boobs: The Best Proof Against the World Not Being Flat.
of 33 votes, 18% like it
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Booby Hatch Escapee
of 41 votes, 0% like it
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Bookmarks Are Like Prisoners Kept Inside a Paper Jail Cell.
of 1 votes, 100% like it
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Bookmarks Are Like Prisoners Kept Inside Paper Jail Cells.
of 40 votes, 28% like it
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Bookworms Read Too Much Into Things.
of 46 votes, 37% like it
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Boomerang Throwing Stars Cut the Number of Ninjas in Half.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
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Boomerang Throwing Stars Never Caught On in the Ninja Community.
of 42 votes, 29% like it
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Boomerang Throwing Stars Was The Ninja Class Clown's Downfall.
of 29 votes, 24% like it
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Bosses Perfect Their Downsizing Skills At Firing Ranges.
of 53 votes, 11% like it
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Bow-Chicka-Wow!
of 35 votes, 9% like it
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Brains: The Thinking Person's Organ of Choice.
of 31 votes, 19% like it
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Breast Reductions Can Lead To Long-Term Mammary Loss.
of 42 votes, 24% like it
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Broken Mirrors Aren't All They're Cracked Up To Be.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
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Broken Televisions Have Bad Self-Image Problems.
of 37 votes, 11% like it
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Bug Zapping is Inhumane, I Prefer Fly Lethal Injection.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
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Building a Highway So My Ideas Don't Hurt As They Go Over Ur Head
of 38 votes, 11% like it
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By Chuckling At This Tee, My Laughing Stock Goes Up in Value.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
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By My Calculations, You Should Be Done Reading This Slogan...NOW.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
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By Reading This Shirt You Have Consented To Do My Laundry
of 104 votes, 17% like it
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By Reading This You Are Now a Member of My Fan Club.
of 38 votes, 24% like it
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By Reading This You've Just Triggered My Shirt's Silent Alarm.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
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Cache Moves Everything Around Me.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
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Campfire Storytelling: The Original HDTV.
of 32 votes, 28% like it
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Can We Bring Metaphors Back to Rap Music PLEASE?
of 21 votes, 5% like it
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Can We Just Round Up to 3.15 And Be Done With It?
of 52 votes, 15% like it
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Candy Bars Have Taught Me That Outer Space is Delicious.
of 51 votes, 33% like it
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Cannibals Are Just Really Dedicated Members of PETA.
of 55 votes, 29% like it
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Cannibals Can't Get Enough of Knuckle Sandwiches.
of 38 votes, 29% like it
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Cannibals Can't Get Enough of Knuckle Snadwiches.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
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Capitalism is an All-Consuming Way of Life.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
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Capitalism: So, How Much is Dignity & Self-Respect Gonna Cost
of 1 votes, 100% like it
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Capitalistic Lifestyles Are All-Consuming.
of 38 votes, 11% like it
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Care To Conspire On a Theory With Me?
of 31 votes, 19% like | |